I know what you're thinking: that's a strange title for a style blog. You're right, but bear with me—it'll make sense soon.

As I’ve embraced this new career as a business owner helping women feel more confident, I’ve realised just how important life changes are to our sense of self-esteem. Life is a journey filled with twists, turns, and transformative moments. From the joyful chaos of raising children to the personal evolution brought on by menopause or navigating through challenging times, these experiences shape us in profound ways. Often, our wardrobes reflect these shifts, acting as a silent witness to our changing identities.

“This is what I like to call “shield dressing.” It’s about hiding, protecting, and sometimes even disguising ourselves”

After significant life changes, it’s natural to seek comfort in our clothing. This is what I like to call “shield dressing.” It's about hiding, protecting, and sometimes even disguising ourselves. We gravitate towards familiar, safe pieces that make us feel secure, like cosy armour against the world. For me, it was those maternity leggings and oversized tops after I had my daughter. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with this, staying in the shield mindset can sometimes keep us from building confidence and projecting our best selves. Dressing my new body was harder than many other aspects of being a new mother. I’m not ashamed to say it might have even been the hardest part. In those moments in front of the mirror, trying on outfits, I would feel horrified by the poor fit of my clothes and how nothing seemed suited to my new lifestyle. In those moments, I took comfort in the old advice of “black is slimming” and “loose tops hide your lumps and bumps.” I hadn’t realised until it was too late just what a load of rubbish this old advice was.

At that postpartum time of my life, if I had to describe my style, I would have struggled, but I could have told you that I was aiming to hide, disguise, minimise, and flatten my body. Not a recipe for feeling great, really.

So, what if we flipped the script? Instead of dressing to hide, what if we dressed to attract? Enter the concept of “magnet dressing.” Magnet dressing is about projecting who you want to be and dressing as that person now. It’s a powerful mindset shift that can transform how you feel about yourself and how the world perceives you.

“So, what if we flipped the script? Instead of dressing to hide, what if we dressed to attract? Enter the concept of “magnet dressing.” ”

Imagine this: you’ve just come out of a tough phase. Instead of reaching for the same old comfy sweater, you choose an outfit that makes you feel vibrant and empowered. Maybe it’s a bold colour that lights up your face or a chic silhouette that makes you stand tall. This isn’t about disregarding comfort but redefining it to include confidence and self-expression.

The theory behind magnet dressing is simple yet profound. By dressing as the person you aspire to be, you start to embody that persona. Your clothes become a tool for transformation, helping you to project forward into your desired self. Over time, you’ll find that you naturally evolve into this version of you. OK, so I can tell what you are thinking. What about my new body? Well, I struggled with this. I didn’t really connect with the body-positive movement online. Somehow, that made me feel even worse. Like I couldn’t even be fat properly! Why didn’t I love my body like the body-positive advocates on Instagram do? Instead, I settled for body neutrality. I aimed to have a more “I’ll deal with my body later” approach, opting instead to focus on wearing better clothes and taking care of my hair and skin. This is where colour came in. I’ve always loved colour, and in the absence of body confidence, I decided to embrace colour confidence. What happened next was profound. Me in my bolder colours had people complimenting me in the street. It took a while to believe they were talking to me. I’d get chatting to people in shops or while queuing for coffee. People seemed to gravitate towards the brightly dressed me. For the first time in ages, I didn’t feel like an invisible new mum. I was magnetic. Cool!

Why Shield Dressing Happens

Periods of significant change often leave us seeking comfort. After having children, your body and routine change drastically, and it’s easy to stick to what’s practical and familiar. Menopause brings its own set of challenges, making comfort a priority as you navigate through hormonal shifts. Tough times, whether personal or professional, can sap your energy, making the idea of dressing up feel overwhelming.

These are the times when shield dressing feels like the easiest option. But staying in this mindset can sometimes make it hard to build the confidence needed to project your true self.

Embracing Magnet Dressing

Magnet dressing doesn’t mean overhauling your entire wardrobe overnight. It’s about making intentional choices that align with who you want to become. Here are some tips to help you transition:

1. Start Small: Begin with accessories or a single statement piece that makes you feel powerful. It could be a vibrant scarf, a pair of statement earrings, or bold lipstick.

2. Colour Confidence: Experiment with colours that lift your mood and complement your complexion. Don’t be afraid to step out of your neutral comfort zone.

3. Fit and Fabric: Choose clothes that fit well and feel good against your skin. Quality fabrics and well-tailored pieces can make a world of difference.

4. Personal Style: Reflect on what styles make you feel most like “you.” Whether it’s classic, bohemian, edgy, or something else, find pieces that resonate with your personal style.

5. Future Self: Picture your future self and what she wears. Use this vision as a guide when shopping or putting together outfits.

The Impact of Magnet Dressing

When you dress with intention, you’re not just changing your appearance; you’re shifting your mindset. Magnet dressing can help you:

- Boost Confidence: Wearing clothes that make you feel good can significantly boost your self-esteem.

- Enhance Mood: Colours and styles that you love can uplift your spirits and energy levels.

- Project Positivity: When you feel good, you project positivity, attracting positive interactions and opportunities.

Final Thoughts

Life’s transitions can be challenging, but they also offer opportunities for growth and self-discovery. By shifting from shield dressing to magnet dressing, you’re taking a step towards embracing your future self with confidence and style. Remember, your wardrobe is more than just clothes; it’s a reflection of who you are and who you aspire to be. So go ahead, dress as the magnificent person you’re destined to become. Your future self will thank you!

If you still need help with your style. Get in touch. I’m here to help.

Love

Louise